We humans like to distinguish ourselves from our fellow animals. We're sooo much more intelligent, sooo much more civilized. Yet, despite the presumed intellect and largely arbitrary set of rules we call civilization, we are all still primarily governed by the same chemical, basic forces that govern every animal around us to some degree. We feel the same emotions, and at some level think the same way.
Some of these basic impulses and emotions are productive, even in our machine-mad society. Love, empathy, compassion: all serve to bind us together and temper our self-centered natures. Others, however, are outmoded and, to a large degree, dangerous. Think of the deer in the headlights. Do would that dear honestly just stand there and get hit if it wasn't scared shitless at that moment? A natural response to loud unknown object is run, as any hunter can attest. Fear is one of those emotions that, if we were as smart as deer, would be useful. For example, that cliff seems dangerous, stay away from the edge. We don't need fear anymore, but it's still a major influence in our lives.
I was a very fearful child. Not in a buggyman, monsters, or such sort of way, but instead constantly on guard and awaiting danger. How this happened I'm not sure. The knife fights, the bullying, and waking up to a knife near my throat held by a psychopath didn't help, but there's a reason I woke up when I heard his breath. I had a heard time catching a ball I would cower from, or playing on play sets I was afraid of falling off of (gravity wasn't my friend).
As I grew older, I can to a conscious understating that the fear was negatively affecting my life. As I matured and gained more confidence in my own abilities, fear subsided and was replaced with a combination of primal, instinctual alertness, and constant calculation. Eventually I got to the point where some people were mortified to ride in a car with me, as I seemed to make hundreds of split second close calls (all calculated to be really safe, as my accident record can attest).
I soon came to realize, unfortunately, that most of the world's population isn't like me (OK, to be honest I realized this at about two years old), and is primarily motivated by, constantly reacting to, and generally being controlled by fear. Fear is now the currency by which power is purchased. Fear is now the means by which the sheep are kept herded, safe from the wolves (though the shepherd eats well).
The obvious demonstration of this is 9/11. The actual loss of life on that day from the attacks pales in comparison to the loss of life on American road ways due to automobile crashes during that week, and is insignificant compared to the same over any given year. Yet, America pored in money and resources to destroy freedoms and fight wars overseas that saw stable, though autocratic governments overthrown and replaced with near anarchy (the terrorists we were (are) fighting are the most organized groups left). We reacted blindly, stupidly, fearfully. We saw a fight-or-flight juncture, and chose fight. Nobody thought that statistically, that money would be better served by providing counseling to at-risk youth (a problem still far more deadly to Americans than terrorists).
The not-so-obvious demonstration of fear controlling the minds of the American population is the current debates, laws, and court proceedings regarding "abnormal" gender. I'm grouping a lot into this category, but I believe it comes down to this one word: gender. Why would someone be afraid of a gay couple showing affection, or getting married? A trans person using the same restroom? The kid next door who you're not sure is a boy or a girl playing with your kid?
Fundamentally, there are three reasons. First, aspects of that person could remind you of aspects of yourself you aren't comfortable. Maybe you are of similar gender or sexuality, but have chosen to suppress your identity instead of expressing it. You're afraid of how this person makes you feel, you're ashamed. Otherwise, it could be more basic. Maybe you, like most animals, are afraid of things that are new, different, and you don't fully understand. In this case you don't like the "other' because they are different, and no other reason. Finally, you could simply be too stupid to have an original thought and have been trained to react this way to the given stimulus. I used to think this was the case most of the time, I've chosen to believe humanity has more potential than that.
Gender is a word most people don't get. It really isn't just a socially acceptable way to refer to a person's sex in mixed company or around children. Sex is a matter of biology: the organs you have. Gender, on the other hand, is an expression of yourself. I prefer to use the words masculine and feminine when referring to gender, male and female when referring to sex.
Among the world's population, over 99% fit into a binary sex categorization. There are some hermaphrodites, and numerous other conditions that can cause sex to not be simply male or female, but for most there are only two camps. Gender, on the other hand, is made binary be social pressures, stereotypes, and training. Males, from a young age, are expected to act a certain way, play with certain toys, like certain clothes, and generally be "boys." Females have their own, often opposite qualifications. When someone doesn't fit into the mold, they are chastised (overtly or implicitly), demeaned, or excluded. If they fit into the opposite camp than their sex would dictate, they are considered transgender (a word I HATE). This can work to varying degrees, from "tom boy," or "butch," to full on identity (a female considering themselves a boy or vise verse). At the most extreme side, it leads to surgery and hormone therapy to change their apparent sex.
What would such a person do if they weren't taught that boys do this and girls do that? Does a male who identifies as female really hate their penis and want it cut off, or is that simply a step to help them be physically the way they feel they should be? What if it's OK to be feminine and have a penis?
So what does this have to do with sexual orientation (which I grouped into it)? I have a theory regarding sexual orientation. While we are primally attracted to certain sexual features, we form relationships not out of whether or not someone possesses the right proportion of said features, but out of how they express their gender. A masculine male is attracted to a feminine female in the "typical" scenario. In homosexual relationships, you still most often see the two genders: masculine and feminine. So, it can be said that homosexuality is as much a gender expression as sexual preference. Indeed, the PUBLIC display is entirely gender. When you, the reader (Unless you are gay) think of a gay man, you probably think of the stereotype feminine who is great with a wardrobe and colors. There are an equal number of "invisible" gay men who act like straight men but prefer sex with men (usually feminine men).
Despite the considerable digression, my message is really a short one. There's no reason to hate these people, or shit on their liberties. In fact, there's no reason to even single-out them. A man on the street being gay doesn't affect the straight man in the least, so why does it matter at all? Ultimately, it doesn't, but in our society we must fear them. Why is a matter of the individual, but as a whole the issue is the society. The root of the issue, I'm convinced, is fear. We should not be afraid to be who we are, regardless of where that puts us in the gender spectrum (or political spectrum, or the optical spectrum...). We should not be afraid of someone because they are different. We should embrace them and understand that our differences make us stronger.
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